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<title>Reminisce Those 10 Years by ChemicallyEnhanced</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192357">Reminisce Those 10 Years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChemicallyEnhanced/pseuds/ChemicallyEnhanced'>ChemicallyEnhanced</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Analysis, Established Relationship, M/M, Meta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:48:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192357</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChemicallyEnhanced/pseuds/ChemicallyEnhanced</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do you ever think about how we wasted 10 years of our lives missing each other?" Ritsu asks a question, and Takano answers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Onodera Ritsu/Takano Masamune</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Reminisce Those 10 Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ritsu asks Takano one day during dinner, after everything has happened and they’re finally together after who knows how many years, “Do you ever think about how we wasted 10 years of our lives missing each other?”</p>
<p>Takano’s chopsticks pause over his bowl, and he doesn’t say anything for a long time. The two of them finish dinner and are about to begin working on some storyboards when Takano finally replies, voice flat, “Does it matter? We’re together now, I don’t need to think about it anymore.” <br/><br/>“Oh,” Ritsu says, noticing how Takano said ‘anymore’, with what looked like an expression of deep sadness. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen that kind of expression on his lover’s face, except maybe when his last name was still ‘Saga’ instead of ‘Takano’. It’s an expression that Ritsu is unsure of how to deal with, so he drops the topic for now. <br/><br/>He pretends that, though he can feel it like a brand on his skin, he doesn’t know Takano is burning to ask him why he brought the topic up in the first place.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A few days later, when Ritsu has forgotten about the conversation altogether because it’s nearing the beginning of the worst part of the cycle, Takano turns to him and asks on the last train home, “Why did you ask that, a few days ago? About wasting 10 years missing each other?” <br/><br/>Ritsu startles awake from where he’d been falling asleep against Takano’s shoulder, rubbing at his work-weary eyes. “What?” <br/><br/>Takano’s expression doesn’t change. “Why did you ask that kind of question?” <br/><br/>“Masamune,” Ritsu releases on a sigh, not wanting to get into why he suddenly fell into a fit of madness and asked such a loaded question. Still, for the sake of not wanting to get into another argument about their relationship, he thinks over his answer. “I guess—Look.” He turns to look at Takano as well, wondering if his face is as serious as he thinks it is right now. “We’ve been… together for a long time, right?” Even after all this time, he still has trouble admitting they’re dating. The reminder of it sets his face aflame.<br/><br/>Takano nods, slowly. <br/><br/>“It’s been almost 15 years since we met each other,” Ritsu continues, lifting a finger, “and 10 of those years were spent apart.” He lifts the other finger. “Don’t you think that—I don’t know….” He throws his hands up, careful to keep his voice lowered. “Don’t you think that sounds like we wasted a lot of time, thinking and wondering about our… relationship and talking around it instead of talking <em>about</em> it?” <br/><br/>What Ritsu expects is for Takano to retaliate with some sarcastic comment, for him to reply with something along the lines of the past already having passed, so why would they bother to focus on it when they could focus on the present? His ‘tyrant boss’ persona at work has lessened only marginally over the years, but every once in a while, Ritsu can still see it in the way Takano critiques a new book, or huddles around a new manga in a bookstore to see what changes he would’ve made. <br/><br/>What Ritsu <em>doesn’t</em> expect, though, is for Takano to fall silent, for him to settle back in his seat with the strangest expression on his face and not say anything at all. He gets it. He <em>gets</em> it, he does. After asking such an awful question that’s brought more confusion into their relationship, who wouldn’t worry about it in a silent, stewing fit of resentment? Ritsu would be the exact same. <br/><br/>He begins to feel guilty, even though a small part of him, the part that had never stopped being bitter about Takano breaking his heart all those years ago, tells him he shouldn’t have to be. But that part is crowded out by a much larger part that yells at him to <em>fix this, fix this right now</em> so he won’t constantly put it off and cause even more misunderstandings between them. <br/><br/>Sighing, Ritsu begins to reach for Takano’s hand, prepared to struggle through an apology that should be easy for him at this point, when Takano himself meets him in the middle with his own heavy sigh. <br/><br/>“What—” <br/><br/>“I told you about my old family life, right?” Takano starts, and Ritsu closes his mouth quicker than anything he’s ever done. “It sucked, which is an understatement, but I don’t want to get into all of that again. The point I wanted to make is that, during those 10 years we didn’t see each other, there were days I didn’t miss you. I was too busy with everything else. Eventually, you were just a memory. I didn’t even miss you, because there was nothing to miss.” <br/><br/>Takano lets go of his hand when they exit the train at their stop, then takes it again on the short walk back. It feels different, holding it like this when there’s nobody around and only the stars and sky above are their witness, but there is absolutely nothing in the world that could distract Ritsu from what Takano is saying right now. <br/><br/>“I grew up a lot during those 10 years.” The faintest edge of a smile curves Takano’s lips. “I told you I was a brat in high school who didn’t bother with anything, and for a long time, that was true.” <br/><br/><em>Until Yokozawa</em>, Ritsu’s mind supplies, any ill will he felt towards the other man long since gone. He doesn’t know whether he’d ever be <em>friends</em> with the ‘Wild Bear of Sales’, but at least they were semi-friendly with each other. <br/><br/>“It wasn’t until I started working that I realized what ‘caring about other things’ meant. Not just people, but work and pets, too.” Takano seems like he’s about to say something else, but then he shakes his head. “I’m getting off-track.” <br/><br/>The two of them have already reached their apartment by this time, and they’re occupying themselves in their nightly routine of making tea and watching late night game shows when Takano speaks up again. This has to be one of the longest conversations they’ve ever had, not counting the hours they’d spend in bed on weekends they didn’t have to go to work, talking about nothing in particular and falling into another round of sex in between. <br/><br/>“To answer your question, Ritsu,” Takano says, taking his hand on top of the coffee table and urging him to look him straight in the eyes, “I’d have to say no. I don’t think we wasted 10 years of our lives missing each other.” <br/><br/>They’ve already forgotten about the game show, still playing quietly in the background, but it isn’t as if Ritsu can pay attention to anything except this moment between them. It feels important—a defining moment in their relationship that will make or break the rest of their lives. <br/><br/>“Why?” He has to ask, hurt despite himself. For him, it felt like he spent every single day of those 10 years missing his Saga-senpai, even though he <em>knows</em> he eventually forgot about the other as well. <br/><br/>“If we didn’t go through what we did during those 10 years,” Takano says carefully, each word vibrating through Ritsu’s chest like a drumbeat, “we wouldn’t be here together like we are today. I love you more than anything, Ritsu, and I love you more every day, but love wasn’t what made us grow as people. We did that ourselves. Love came second. Do you get it?” <br/><br/>Somehow, Takano’s explanation heals the deep, broken part of Ritsu that had always wondered whether he was good enough. For most of his life, he carried around the oppressive weight of his insecurities and never bothered to tell anyone about it. He’d only outright told Takano a little bit of this burden, but even his lover doesn’t know the full extent of his insecurities, though he could have guessed. To hear Takano say that everything Ritsu had done over those 10 years made him grow as a person and led to their relationship today was so… relieving. <br/><br/>Ritsu thinks of graduating summa cum laude in England. <em>I did that.</em> His success with Usami Akihiko. <em>I did that.</em> His most recent manga finally reaching top 3 in sales. <em>I did that.</em> <br/><br/>Too overwhelmed for words, he simply nods and leans into Takano’s shoulder, knowing that everything he had struggled through during those 10 years had finally paid off in the end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i posted this on ff.net and decided to post it here, too, for more traction.</p>
<p>tumblr @ ukiyosen</p></blockquote></div></div>
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